Blue sky and springtime please?

I just want someone to walk in, pick up the cloths off the floor, dust off the surfaces, and open up the window for air. Some new sheets on the bed, fun throw pillows, fresh flowers…and then I will stretch out to relax a little. A nice long morning walk along the waterfront, a healthy brunch and then a day to be creative. Organize my pictures, make some boxes, hem Baker’s pants, sew a giraffe or two. Follow this by some work in the garden, a nice bath and a dinner out that includes some wine. Finally to bed, a nice rain and thunderstorm outside, the window open.

In other news...

On to other subjects of interest in our life:

Goodbye Bingo!

Bingo, the Betta fighting fish has died. He spent about 3 days dying before finally being flushed after his life ended on Saturday. I don’t know what was wrong with him, the water looked clean, I was feeding him,etc. Baker took the news in stride. He was most interested in getting a new fish. The funeral flush was attended by both Jared and Baker and brought few tears. Later that day when visiting the facilities I was reminded by Baker that there is a fish in the toilet. Umm, yeah buddy…he isn’t around anymore.

Hello Lego’s!

Arden and I took a trip to IKEA and the Mall of America on Saturday. Leaving Jared and Baker to finish (oh not quite finish exactly) painting the kitchen. A stop at Lego Land that included the purchase of small mass produced plastic blocks with pegs amounted to a quick $50.00 spent. Yikes.
The boys seem to like playing with Lego’s.

Arden is very specific about how he builds his towers and seems inclined to have like colors together. He likes to put the “guys” in the towers and build around them.

Baker likes building the more complex cars, Star Wars ships, and Sponge Bob land. With a little help from Jared and with any luck Arden out of the room that is a fun project for them.

Finding time to cook/bake again? Sort of…

One thing I need to be better at is planning ahead for our meals.
Last weekend I prepared some tofu jerky for sandwiches, strawberry chocolate chip scones, blue berry chocolate chip scones, banana bread, and pasta salad with veggies (tomato, olives, cucumber, sugar snap peas). This has made for some quick lunches and dinners so far this week—but it’s only Tuesday!
We’ve pulled out some other meals I made and froze earlier including sweet and sour cabbage soup and veggie pot pies.
Last night I prepared the hash browns for this morning’s breakfast. Coupled that with some smoothies made from yogurt, a banana and some frozen strawberries (I picked these last summer) and the boys were very happy to eat breakfast today.

Prioritize? Fit more in with less time.

I would like to schedule some time each week to work on my projects. I have been collecting some beautiful paper, empty boxes, random garden catalogs and it is time for some productivity in the creative department for me!
Also, I miss my camera so I need to get out and take some more pictures. Should probably organize those that I have taken and get them off of my computer…time time time….where have you gone?

Drowning

Oh my, am I learning alot about who I am and what matters to me now.

Working full-time outside of the home, a mandatory 9 hour work day (can't guarantee a lunch break in that time, usually work through lunch) has been so very hard on me and my family.

I miss my kids. I miss them so much that I actually feel an ache in my heart.
I feel guilty that I am not there to pick Baker up from school and ask him about his school day.
I feel guilty that I get home after 5 p.m. and can't get a good healthy meal on the table for them.
I feel so sad to only spend about 3 waking hours a day with my boys.

The theme this week seems to be guilt and sadness.

I don't know how mothers who work outside of the home do this. Any ideas, suggestions? Something other than "you'll get used to it" because I don't want to get used to being away from them...

The World

My world has been a bit wobbly the last month or so. Getting laid off from a company I have worked for over six years sure has been a trip! First the freak out about how to pay bills, find a job in this economy, childcare and then the best part...the emotional ringer this has put me through.

In the past, when a company I worked for had layoff's I was always safe. We all sort of knew that layoffs were a good way to weed out non-performers. But this, this was something different. This wasn't predictable, had nothing to do with productivity, performance, etc...this was all about money. I have spent the last four weeks training in my replacement. The whole thing has been very, very, very demoralizing. The only thing that saved my brain from exploding through all of this was that I was very lucky to find a great NEW job and secure the offer within three weeks of having been laid off.

I must admit, for a moment the thought of not working and collecting unemployment didn't sound so bad...and I think I would have rested with that idea if it were summer vs. the middle of winter. I could have used the time to garden, play with the kids, relax....but my work ethic got the best of me...oh and the whole "pay the mortgage" thing. I even went ahead and found a second job, so I now pick up hours at a local deli/coffee shop on the weekend.

Someday we will all look back on the Depression of 08 and 09 and dish forth knowledge to the young'ins about how to watch your back, save, and work hard.

Meanwhile, at the dining room table...our in-house map maker and inventor (a precocious 4 year old) has been busy sketching up alternate worlds for us to live in. First there was the Raccoon World and then he created another more interesting world for us to live in...I will let him explain. It sounds like a great place to live...and if Obama hadn't won the election- I think we would have moved here.

Coupons and stuff

Going to try to post this while the boys play with their Nerf guns and Jared is napping, SO...excuse any weird grammar or spelling.

Overheard this conversation this morning:
"What does mom have these coupons for?" Baker
"She uses them to absorb liquids." Jared
"What does that mean?" Baker
"Kinda like a sponge, you put it in liquid and it sucks the liquid up." Jared
"Oh." Baker253
"I don't want you playing in that drawer anymore." Jared

Let me help interpret this for you-- coupon = tampon in Baker's world.

In other news, I bought a gallon of paint for the kitchen. I hate the color, haven't painted yet luckily. There is a wasted forty bucks. Not sure what the heck I was thinking, it looks like mint green. I hate mint green. Anyway, back to Home Depot to try to exchange it for a more brown taupe like color.

And now Arden has a song for you, actually it's more for Aunt Bevy--
HI AUNT BEVY!:

Day is done...

gone the sun. from the earth, from the hills from the sky, blablablablablabla. That is what I remember from a song I learned in Girl scouts or Brownies when I was a kid.

Spent most of today dealing with an incompetent service provider for my soon to be former company. Exhausting that people like that have jobs when hundreds of thousands of other people who could do the job better are getting laid off. This economy is a hoot.

The buying club driver told me today that all their local drivers were laid off. Rumor that a certain software company is going to lay-off 20% of its workforce. HTI laying off 25% this month. Best buy offering buy-outs to get people off the payroll. Seems things aren't going to turn around anytime soon. It took at least eight years to create this mess, I suppose it will take at least that to get it back to something good.

What does an economic depression mean to us in this day and age? I heard some about the depression from my great grandma years ago. I remember when we were cleaning out her house after she passed away I found she had saved nearly everything. Old zippers, buttons, empty take-out containers, pine-cones, old hearing aid batteries, old nylons stockings, random pieces of animal hide taken from old clothing I guess, and more. She was saving thinking that at some point anything would be worth something. I feel like doing that now. I feel like stock piling food, saving money, selling the house and going somewhere cheaper, buying cheap shampoo, trading organic for conventional, closing the cell phone account, turning off lights, turning down the heat, getting a second and third job, etc. But that is silly right? Or is it? I don't know.

What I know for sure is that I don't want it to taint my boys childhood...I guess it would be good for them to learn they should be frugal and save (I could have benefited from that lesson) but they shouldn't worry. That said, I need to watch what I say around them.

Things as they are, with starting a new job, the economy, a family to take care of....someone like myself who is a worrier and thinker needs to try to put things into perspective. Compared to a lot of people we are doing well and are very lucky. I must stay a hard worker and a good mother and that is what I intend to do.

Here it is the middle of winter and I am ready for spring. A quick look through the pictures I took last May 23rd brought a reminder of the prettier landscape to come. The seed and bulb catalogs are already arriving-- HOPE!

It all began...

Finally time for me to jump into blogging. It seems this will match nicely with the ridiculous number of pictures I take and to add to it, videos I hope to upload.
Thank you dad for the fun insignia digital video cam.

For now, let me start by saying this will mark a new beginning for me. A fence if you will. When I was a kid my parents were really into bowling, and when they had a bad series of frames I think I remember them drawing a fence before the next frame.

Anyway, I am a lucky lady. A great husband (yes really), two handsome little boys, land I love, and a wonderful family. My job had been lacking in anything even remotely positive for a number of years and I am happy to say I am on to something very new in just two weeks.

Let the blogging begin!
And for fun, here is a practice shot at uploading a video...

The Lazy Cats