Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Drowning

Oh my, am I learning alot about who I am and what matters to me now.

Working full-time outside of the home, a mandatory 9 hour work day (can't guarantee a lunch break in that time, usually work through lunch) has been so very hard on me and my family.

I miss my kids. I miss them so much that I actually feel an ache in my heart.
I feel guilty that I am not there to pick Baker up from school and ask him about his school day.
I feel guilty that I get home after 5 p.m. and can't get a good healthy meal on the table for them.
I feel so sad to only spend about 3 waking hours a day with my boys.

The theme this week seems to be guilt and sadness.

I don't know how mothers who work outside of the home do this. Any ideas, suggestions? Something other than "you'll get used to it" because I don't want to get used to being away from them...

1 comment:

  1. No words of wisdom...either you'll get used to it, or you won't and you'll find a way not to do it. Those are the only two liveable options.

    One thing that will probably happen is that you'll settle in a bit at work, make some friends, get the lay of the land, climb the learning curve, and every cliche you can think of, and then your time there will be more rewarding, which will help offset the ache of being away from your kids.

    And, they'll go to school and then they'll be rather indifferent to your presence, and that helps too, is a perverse way.

    Hang in there.

    And yes to the drinks!

    Billie

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